Man Books Prostitutes, Daughters Turn Up!

Imagine it: you’re alone in your hotel room, anxiously awaiting the two scantily clad escort girls that you’ve just called. In your head, one is a bountiful blonde and the other a bosom-ness brunette – a luxurious tag team of svelte forms to create a wild night of threesome-based debauchery. With bated breath you wait, tapping your feet together at the edge of the bed, for the sweet sound of knocking wood to echo through the room.

blond and brunette women portrait, lying down
blond and brunette women portrait, lying down

Then, at last, it comes, three succinct knocks that have all the promise of a sex-driven night away from the stresses of the day. You eagerly stand to open the door, neglecting to peer through the eyeglass in your excitement, and with a sense of wild abandon swing it open.

A Rather Large Surprise

And what do you find standing there in the dim light of the hotel hallway? Your own daughters, the same flesh and blood you once performed dual nappy changes on, whose faces quickly turn from a pair of professional smiles to expressions of utter horror. This was the exact predicament Titus McDonalds, a father of 10, found himself in earlier this week.

Facing martial problems, Mr McDonalds decided to spend a clandestine weekend away in the nefarious Las Vegas – known for its mantra ‘what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.’ It’s fair to say, this is something both Mr McDonalds and his daughters will now try desperately hard to forget.

Sure they would have looked hot, overly eager and maybe, even for a split second, he’d have felt a quick surge of arousal. But this would’ve only electrified his horror the next second, as his mind came to terms with the idea that not only are his two daughters working as prostitutes, but that they’re performing threesomes together (isn’t that really weird?)

Family businesses can be great and everything, but this is something else. We can’t even begin to imagine the sort of images that raced through his head in that second, and pretty much every second after for the rest of your life. His daughters are Las Vegas prostitutes performing tag-team sex acts for older men.

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Apparently, Mr McDonalds’ actual reaction was to clutch his heart and fall to the floor. His daughters, aged 20 and 23, proceeded to fly the hotel before being caught up with by Mr McDonalds in the downstairs casino. What that conversation involved we can’t actually be sure. Apparently he apologised for his actions; but it makes us wonder what sorts of ‘it’s not what it looks like’ type excuses were uttered beforehand.

A Real Bitch-Slapping

Speaking to the Las Vegas Weekly magazine, Mr McDonalds said: “I have never gotten a prostitute in my life, I swear to Christ. What are the odds it was my own flesh and blood that showed up? I think this is Lord’s way of bitch-slapping me.”

It’s doubly awkward because the guy is married, and we’d have loved to be a fly on the wall as he explained to his wife A) what their two daughters are up to and B) how he acquired that information.

Apparently he’s now repaired his relationship with his daughters and is seeing a marriage counsellor, but it’s a long road between cleaning your daughter’s diapers and then seeing them sexually charged in your hotel doorway, and an even longer one between that and burning the memory away with alcohol.

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