Common Lesbian Sex Questions Answered

People are obsessed with lesbians. Just take a look at the most searched items on porn websites and you will see that lesbian porn is the most popular. Even spending time with a lesbian friend you will notice the conversation turn to their antics and just what being a lesbian means.
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Last night I went out with some friends. In our little group was a lesbian couple, and a very curious man who found their relationship fascinating. After the drinks had been flowing, he thought it would be appropriate to ask the questions everyone wants answering about lesbian sex and relationships.

After watching what happened, I spoke to my lesbian friends afterwards to find out if it was common. They said that people are often curious about lesbians and what sex for them means. I asked what the most common questions they get asked are, and have written them below for you to read.

How do lesbians have sex?

This, my friends told me, is the question they get asked all of the time. They also said this is the one that makes them the most angry, as they have been asked it by total strangers before. I find it unbelievable that strangers would go up to a lesbian couple and ask about their sex life! Would they approach other couples about their sex life? I don’t think so.

That said, how do lesbians have sex? The problem with this question is that most people think of sex as meaning penetration with a penis. Gay couples can have sex as a penis can go into their ass, and straight couples can have sex as the penis goes into the vagina.

The rationale behind this question is that lesbians don’t have a penis, so do they technically have sex or just long foreplay?

The thing is, we count oral sex as sex. The clue is in the name. A lot of people count sex as simply “penetration”, so would fingers also count? Lesbians can also use toys, like vibrators and dildos, to aid their sex lives. Clearly, they still manage to have sex with or without them… which leads me onto the next question.

To understand how lesbian sex works, you have to understand that women can receive pleasure in many different ways. A penis isn’t always necessary for us women to achieve orgasm, and so lesbians can give different types of pleasure to their partner… just as anyone else can.

Does using a dildo mean you want a penis?

Short answer? No. Using a dildo or vibrator does not mean they secretly lust for a penis and want to live as a man. It is like saying that because you drive a car you really want to be a Formula 1 driver. In some cases that may be true, but in the majority of cases that isn’t true. You are simply using a tool.

Lesbians who use toys in the bedroom are also just using tools, just as every other couple might do. It is an addition to their sex routine that they find enjoyable.
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Who is the man and who is the woman?

Gay and lesbian couples are often asked this question. A simple search online shows this question appearing many times throughout the years. It originates from the belief that, in a heterosexual relationship, one person (the man) is usually in control while the other (the woman) is submissive.

So in lesbian and gay relationships that means there has to be a dominant and submissive person… right?

Wrong. To enjoy a good sex life, you must have a lot of give and take. It cannot all be one sided, or it becomes too selfish, self-centred, and a bit rubbish. It is possible to take turns being dominant in the bedroom, which is how lesbian and gay relationships work.

Do you have any important sex questions you want answering? You can let us know your burning questions by posting them below or going to the Escort Wales forum and leaving a comment there for us to see.

Lara Mills
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Lara Mills

Lara Mills is a writer who has four years of sex industry expertise behind her. Since she entered the adult industry, she has worked on the Escort Advertising forums, before moving into her current role three years ago.

Since then she has gained a fine reputation with her blogs on sex advice, sexual health and amusing news stories from around the globe. She is also a campaigner for the rights of sex workers from all over the world.

In her spare time, Lara keeps herself active by going running, and is something of a film buff. She also loves to go travelling.
Lara Mills
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